Monday, December 10, 2007

Advent Injuries




Years ago, around this same time of year, I attempted a children's sermon in which I needed to make a single cut through a folded piece of paper to produce a five-pointed star. I don't recall what point I was trying to make. I do remember that I had not completely thought through the logistics of folding, cutting and holding a hand-held mike simultaneously. When it came to the crucial moment, I tried to do all three things with two hands and ended up snipping about 1/8th of an inch of the skin between my middle and ring fingers. Blood spurted everywhere and I ended up leaving worship to drive myself to urgent care where I got three stitches.

What is it about Advent? This year during the Sundays of Advent we are focusing on stories in the Hebrew Scriptures that feature Bethlehem as their setting. Yesterday, we considered the annointing of David. You'll recall that that story contains the pithy quote, "The Lord does not see as mortals see. Mortals look on outward appearences, but God looks upon the heart."

So, for the children's sermon, I had the brilliant idea to take a can of Spaghettios and a can of liver flavored dog food and switch the labels. I would ask the kids which one they would choose as a treat and, when they' picked the Spaghettios, whip out the can opener and reveal---Yuck! Dog food! You can't always judge by appearances . . .

Ah! But I would not repeat my mistake from years past. Beforehand, my colleague an I arranged that when the crucial moment came, I would hold the mike and narrate and she would wield the can opener: collaberative AND safety minded. What could be better? Except--the can opener we snagged from the church kitchen had seen better days. It would not cut the whole way around the can lid even after several attempts. So my colleague tried to pry it open the rest of the way and----sliced her thumb so badly that SHE had leave worship and go to urgent care where she got three stitches.

At least purple hearts are the proper liturgical color.

7 comments:

SpookyRach said...

bwaaaahahaaa!

Purechristianithink said...

This morning I heard a report that in my son's re-telling of yesterday's incident to his friend the story expanded to include a blood spattered chancel and me fainting. Where does that boy get his imagination, I wonder????

cheesehead said...

I think that boy has the makings of a fine preacher some day!

Presbyterian Gal said...

LOLOLOLOL!!!

Ditto what Cheesehead said.....

*wipin tears*

zorra said...

I think this sort of incident comes under the category of "Things they don't prepare you for in homiletics class."

more cows than people said...

chuckling. wow.

i don't deal well with sliced skin. i might have fainted.

ellbee said...

The pastor at my home church when I was in high school was a wonderful man... and a notorious punster. He had just finished the children's sermon and was standing a little too close to the Advent Wreath. The sleeve of his robe was just beginning to smoke when we noticed and grabbed it out of the "line of fire" saying, "well, I just almost made an ash of myself..."