Wednesday, May 02, 2007

If you need me, I'll be in Bermuda . . .

A member of my church just forwarded this to me.

When Doug Smith went to Bermuda this month, he left preaching duties to his favorite substitute: his PowerPoint program. Smith says he felt better leaving the sermon to his PowerPoint than to his youth pastor, who has "made controversial remarks" in the main service before, or his associate pastor who will be busy with other important Sunday morning duties like stuffing bulletins.

Smith programmed the PowerPoint to deliver a 25-minute sermon, slide by slide. It included a closing prayer which some staff members found sterile. "If he can’t trust me to sub for him once a year, why do I work here?" said one pastor who asked not to be identified. After worship time, Smith’s PowerPoint presentation began and the congregation sat quietly, reading each new screen and taking notes. The PowerPoint even told a few jokes, spinning in the punchline. Smith says he worked hours to get the timing right and programmed his pauses down to the quarter-second. "Not to boast, but I have a way with PowerPoint," he says. "It’s like an instrument. When you play it well, people notice." The final slide read, "Go with God! See you next week!"

People were mostly surprised that the sermon felt like Smith was actually there. "Everything he preaches is with PowerPoint anyway," says one member. "The only thing we were missing was him standing up there pressing the button. Maybe we should just hire the PowerPoint." •

10 comments:

ppb said...

bwah ha ha!

Presbyterian Gal said...

*pointing to slide* Here I am at my computer, reading this post, while drinking a Diet Coke.

*pointing to next slide* Let us spray.

cheesehead said...

Is it just me, or is "Doug" kind of a tool?

Quotidian Grace said...

It's not just you, cheese.
Can we say "uber-controlling"?

Sue said...

Holy crap! I'd say Doug has some issues.

SpookyRach said...

Please tell me Doug is not a real person! This has to be made up, right? Right?


I hate power point.

Gannet Girl said...

This is satire, right?

Presbyterian Gal said...

Hey Gannet Girl named it just right: The congregation "sat in ire".

(cue groans)

Serena said...

Oh My! If Doug and this story is real, it's more verification of the phrase "truth is stranger than fiction" ... But, like ppb, I can heartily say bwah ha ha!

Jane Ellen said...

I found it on Lark News, so I assume it's a parody. The scary thing is how easy it is to believe. It is not uncommon for some mega churches (Willow Creek is a notable example) who do use video sermons. Ish.