Pomp and Circumstance

We graduate from pre-school this week. Really. Stick a fork in us, we are done. Next fall Little Princess will head off to kindergarten with her second grader brother.

Both my kids went through the little co-op preschool that rents the basement of our church. Mostly this has been wonderful, though there were some dicey moments when there were Landlord/Tenant issues and I had a foot in both camps. In a way it is providential that the end of my kids' preschool years and the end of my time at this church will come out roughly even. But it means that, in one fell swoop, I'm losing both of my primary communities. That is making me feel anxious and fearful.

This happened once before. I did an interim stint at a church which ended six weeks before my first child was born. This was great in that I didn't have to decide whether to quit work or not--I was unemployed already. We did decide that the ride would be smoother if I didn't seek a new call right away. So there I was, a new Mom. Separation ethics prevented me from going back to the church I'd just left. We needed the extra income from me doing pulpit supply, so we couldn't take shelter in a temporary church home until I took another call. My husband was at work all day. My clergy woman friends were at work even more than that. We did have a few non-churchy friends, but most of them were childless and baffled by our new lack of spontenaity and late-night stamina. It was really pretty awful. "My God," I thought, "How do people live like this?" It gave me a new perspective on church. Christ-centered community is really THE thing the church has to offer in our atomized, disconnected culture.

So I am facing graduation day with some fear and trembling. I doh't like working without a net. We'll see what happens.