And play some more

My uncle once told me our family was descended from royalty. He did not specify which branch.

Never in my life have I watched an episode of Survivor.

High school was eventful. I went to three different high schools in three different countries.

I'll never forget my grandparents.

I once met a guy who used to date Madonna before she got famous.

Once in a bar in Kosovo I told elephant jokes to some cute Albanian guys.

By noon I'm usually hungry.

Last night my cat sat at the foot of the bed an whined until I let her out.

If only I had a dishwasher.

Next time I go to church I get to sit in a pew and doodle on my bulletin.

When I turn my head left I see cabinets full of snack food and stale cereal.

When I turn my head right I see a sinkful of unwashed dishes. (See "If only I had" above)

You know I'm lying when I say I'm going to start getting more excersize.

Everyday I think about my relatives in far places.

By this time next year I will probably have a different job.

I have a hard time understanding why anyone thinks George Bush is a good guy.

You know I like you when I tell you the penguin joke.

If I won an award, the first person I would thank would be my family.

My ideal breakfast is lox and bagels.

Song I love but don't have: Home By Another Way by James Taylor

If you visit my home town I suggest you get a rail pass. I've lived so many places I'd have a hard time picking just one.

Why won't anyone fix the healthcare coverage debacle in this country?

If you spend the night with us you will have to wait in line for the bathroom.

I'd stop my wedding to bitch slap a truly annoying wedding photographer.

The world could do without lima beans.

I'd rather lick the belly of a cockroach than the belly of a republican

Paper clips are more useful than most committee meetings.

And by the way, have you seen my keys?

Last time I was drunk was in the company of lots of other pastors.

And with that, folks, I leave for vacation! Maybe some remote blogging as well.