tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post8075491553674901435..comments2023-09-27T07:42:18.141-07:00Comments on Rebel Without A Pew: Solitude DeficitKaren Sapiohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01952041607368514856noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-63294955576504914672007-03-15T17:49:00.000-07:002007-03-15T17:49:00.000-07:00I wasn't a pastor, or even in a helping profession...I wasn't a pastor, or even in a helping profession (except I did have to field calls from people whose pets had died)*, but here's what I tell women: "You can have it all, just not all at the same time." You used to have peace, quiet and alone time, and you will again. Just not now.<BR/><BR/>*retired from the veterinary library in 2000Normahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11502895616873273470noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-1795962471379558942007-03-15T08:03:00.000-07:002007-03-15T08:03:00.000-07:00As another borderline introvert preacher whose kid...As another borderline introvert preacher whose kids aren't into the hectic after school activities yet, all I'm hoping is that you will keep me posted as to what you do. My husband does let me go for my own run or walk in the morning, and that has become my time of solitude. <BR/><BR/>I used to do centering prayer and a Rodney Yee yoga tape in the mornings, but it doesn't go so well with a 3 year old. ("Mommy, look at this," as he jumps on my stomach during reclined cobbler pose...)<BR/><BR/>Don't know if it helps to know that you are not alone and that we're all hoping you find your down time... on behalf of the blogosphere (pretty presumptuous, eh?) this should not be another thing to tax your introversion!Nauraushaun Churchhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01587430788060947041noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-33308924471903062872007-03-10T20:39:00.000-08:002007-03-10T20:39:00.000-08:00I just read a book that quotes (I think) florence ...I just read a book that quotes (I think) florence nightengale talking about why women should not get married and this is the reason. She says that women who want to have unclaimed time either have to get up an hour before everyone else or go to bed an hour later. Dont know if this is appealing or possible to you, but obviously it's something that women have been dealing with for a long time. On the other hand, wasn't it Wesley's mother who had 17 children but who still locked herself in the prayer closet for an hour every day? Of course, she had The Help....<BR/><BR/> I have also been grouchy from this for the last couple of weeks, so I've been researching. Not sure what women in the actual 21st century do, though.Jennifer Garrison Brownellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10170014214291920971noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-50190016830269207872007-03-10T13:42:00.000-08:002007-03-10T13:42:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.Omar Cruzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02944147038071391777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-22812562020487055942007-03-10T13:41:00.000-08:002007-03-10T13:41:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.Omar Cruzhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02944147038071391777noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-13232153706394735032007-03-09T14:03:00.000-08:002007-03-09T14:03:00.000-08:00i'm not really introverted, and I don't have kids,...i'm not really introverted, and I don't have kids, so I really have no words of wisdom at all. But i do know another woman in my area who is very introverted and needs good quiet time - one of the things she does is take a yoga class during the day, on a morning when she is consistently at church in the evenings, to avoid just feeling guilty about having the time during the day. If you like doing that kind of thing - going to the gym or whatever, it seems to work for her. <BR/><BR/>Other than that: I'm sorry. I hope something is able to give very very soon.Susie/Nueva Cantorahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13111443190777358634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-81638408493665246962007-03-08T22:01:00.000-08:002007-03-08T22:01:00.000-08:00Just take care of yourself. The rest can wait.Peac...Just take care of yourself. The rest can wait.<BR/><BR/>Peace,Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02785984092226524603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-78937967392135951802007-03-08T19:25:00.000-08:002007-03-08T19:25:00.000-08:00I ran across another blog that might be of interes...I ran across another blog that might be of interest to you: www.introvertedchurch.blogspot.com. Interesting.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04271643598506103839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-11301828527995761232007-03-08T19:09:00.000-08:002007-03-08T19:09:00.000-08:00(o)(o)more cows than peoplehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15848597902402114593noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-27387848083311200382007-03-08T13:44:00.000-08:002007-03-08T13:44:00.000-08:00Ditto what they said. If you write, we'll read yo...Ditto what they said. If you write, we'll read you. If you aren't up to it, no prob. We'll be here later (that's NOT a threat!) :) <BR/><BR/>I exercise weekdays at 5:45 a.m. & it's amazing what a difference that time just for me makes. And, there's no other time in the day when I could or would make that happen. FWIW.<BR/><BR/>blessings.Mary Bethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02970052534402740820noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-22630171522763682312007-03-08T10:14:00.000-08:002007-03-08T10:14:00.000-08:00I don't have any wisdom either. I do have some go...I don't have any wisdom either. I do have some good news: the kid thing will slow down. Eventually one of the little buggers will move out, and the whole atmosphere will shift. Sex will be fun again.<BR/><BR/>In the meantime, jettison what doesn't work. If that is blogging, take a break. We'll be here when you come back, unless we are on break, too.<BR/><BR/>Are there workable ways to set some boundaries at church? Can you build "solitude hours" into your schedule--just block them out on your calendar, tell the office staff you are not available between noon and two on Thursdays, for example (unless the church is on fire or somebody dies). It seems to me that this kind of time is very necessary, especially when the church load is great. <BR/><BR/>(Yeah, I'm full of assvice--maybe you've tried these things before.)Juleshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18324456402703897094noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-32081493488348922562007-03-08T08:32:00.000-08:002007-03-08T08:32:00.000-08:00Oh my goodness yes- that has been by far the toug...Oh my goodness yes- that has been by far the toughest part for me in this move to a staff church- there is NEVER quiet time.<BR/><BR/>I find that I only rarely listen to the radio in the car- that's just about the only silent time I have anymore.<BR/><BR/>And other than that, I don't have any big answers. I am learning to close my office door from time to time-APStraighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10197234021468276494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-86426233542969808712007-03-08T07:57:00.000-08:002007-03-08T07:57:00.000-08:00holding public office used to do that to me but I ...holding public office used to do that to me but I did have a 45 minute drive to and from home + a local studio where I could crash out when necessary. To be sure, I still could come home in a serious bitch cuz of repressed rage at my "esteemed" collegues...<BR/><BR/>my internship supervising pastor goes surfing. the congregation understands that feeds him and when the season is on, he may be late into the office some mornings. He also writes his sermons off site. <BR/><BR/>This morning I'm about to head out on a one day retreat for a small, informal women clergy support group. We declared it retreat day and are bringing food, crafts, meditations (or medications..) to share and we'll see what shows up. <BR/><BR/>I hope you find your space - its one of those "when the air masks drops down" moments - if you don't take care of yourself its hard to take care of others....Anitrahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04926105392907460814noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-26723499027808027992007-03-08T07:47:00.000-08:002007-03-08T07:47:00.000-08:00I understand a lot of what you are saying. I am in...I understand a lot of what you are saying. I am in a small church, so I normally don't have a lot of drop-in traffic most weeks. Other weeks I feel like that's all there is. I am a single mother, which means I am not expected to share 'adult' time with a spouse. Of course, it does mean that I am always the one shuffling kids, supervising homework, giving baths, etc. <BR/><BR/>I sit on the fence with the introvert/extrovert thing. On my extrovert days, this is all great - give me more - I am so energized by this! On my introvert days, I want to crawl under a rock and tell the world to leave me the hell alone.<BR/><BR/>You can follow these trends by noting my posting pattern on my blog. Extrovert - lots of posts, lots of comments made. Introvert - few posts and very few comments. Because of this I may not have as many regular readers as some, but that wasn't really my goal to begin with. The ones I count as "blog friends" will hang in there in the dry spells. And that's what counts.Janhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04271643598506103839noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12659679.post-71234772065128278232007-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:002007-03-08T07:29:00.000-08:00I wish I had some words of wisdom. I do know that ...I wish I had some words of wisdom. I do know that writing (and blogging) is one of the ways I personally decompress and make sense of my life during my solitary times. Still, I have experienced some of what you're feeling with the blogosphere. I have cut way down on my reading and commenting. I know that the more you comment, the more comments you get in return, but I'm just not able to be in that space right now.<BR/><BR/>You are several years "ahead" of me in terms of the family/career trajectory, so I've appreciated reading what you're thinking. Thanks for the window into your life, but I hope you don't feel obligated to offer it. We all have enough obligations in our work and family lives without our solitary time being about have-to as well. I know some people have an "I read your blog so you need to read mine" thing and I think that can make blogging something that drains us rather than energizes us.<BR/><BR/>Tough questions!<BR/><BR/>And for someone who has no words of wisdom I certainly like to hear myself talk. :-/reverendmotherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07457532866087494676noreply@blogger.com